Saturday, July 18, 2009

Kratos in Soul Callyburr 4. WTF, Did I Read That Right?

A PSP SC game is scheduled to come out soon, I'm sure you know. The people who played "Tekken: Dark Resurrection" (like me) are pretty hyped over its release. Actually, scratch that, if you even OWN a PSP you are hyped up about this game because the Playstation Portable has had a game lineup thus far of four words: steaming pile of - okay guys, I'm trying to keep this G rated. A content warning in front of my blog would scare away half my potential audience. But fill in the blanks, you imaginative people! edit: better go change that last post....

Anyway, the PSP hasn't had a great track record of great games. Their are notable exceptions (Patapon, the GTA titles, some other PSP exsclusives that I don't remember anything about), but I don't think they are enough of masterpiece to buy the damn thing for. Oops, there I go again.

But SC 4 was just so good. So good that when I tried to write an iGamer review of it, I realized that I was wasting time I could be actually playing the game. Now I can play SC anywhere! Hooray me!

Or perhaps not.

They put fricking Kratos in a fricking SC game. And its not nearly as awesome as I thought it would be. Just check the video:


Yeah, WHAT WAS THAT? That wasn't Kratos.
"Drown in the depths of Hades"
Kratos would just rip off your head. The video doesn't even have any blood in it. Kratos is the god of war, you would expect maybe a disemboweling, or a permanent disfigurement of some sort. Death would probably be the norm. Or you would be wishing for it.

So what is this monstrosity that calls itself Kratos?

It's the T rated version, thats what it is. Everthing that made the god is gone, except for his clothes (if you can call them that) and his weapon/weapons. They needed to make the game T rated, so they brought Kratos down with it. Its just another victim to American consumerism and morality. Sony wanted to make more money, so they sold out one of their best assets and made him something that he's not.

Why can't they make it like SC 4? The Star Wars characters felt a little goofy in the game, but they didn't change their personas one bit. In fact, with the exception of the apprentice, all their dialougue and mannerisms were almost ripped directly from the beloved films they call home.

They can't do that with Kratos

He rips peoples heads of and does numerous things that defy even the most twisted imagination. He had a partially nude, heavily implied sex scene in his last PSP endeavor. Bandai Namco would never put that in a T rated game. But does it make it any better that they put the same guy in a T rated game? I could just as easily go to his wikipedia page and read about all his misdeeds, and go to YouTube to see them in action. The character is from a mature game meant for mature people. Why are you putting it in a kids game?

To think that Talim could even scratch the god of war anyway is a rant for another day...

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